I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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