Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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