she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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