Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
