It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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