I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
