This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
