Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
