I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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