i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
