I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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