I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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