3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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