It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
