she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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