When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
