first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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