FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
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