you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Floor bacon is actually really good
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
