i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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