508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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