she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
