whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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