the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
