is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
