Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
