...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think your dad took our porno
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Randomize
