I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
