So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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