so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Its about making memories worth repressing
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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