My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
