Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
