He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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