Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
