I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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