I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Randomize
