cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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