you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
