if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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