wanna go halves on a baby?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
