Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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