He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
