The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
