idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
