strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Edward fifth and chaser hands
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
