tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
