Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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