dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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