i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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