I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize