Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
