Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
