sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
