we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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