I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
