She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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