ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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