How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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