i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize