hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
