Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
