their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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