We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
