1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize