I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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