I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
