Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
