this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
