I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
